Contributed by "A" in Missouri
| Okay... so i have been seeing this JERK, k we're gonna call him CAPTAIN
BUTTHOLE. I have been seeing captain butthole for over two years and I
stood by him when no one else was there. He was my best friend and my
worst enemy. CAPTAIN BUTTHOLE is the type of man to make you feel like
you are the most beautiful woman in the room and then he will leave you
wanting more, after all, you can't get enough of feeling perfect. He
knows exactly what women want and he knows how to give it to them. I'm
not the type of female that gets caught up, but this one had me from
hello and kept me chasing him for over two years. The whole time he is
telling me that we'll settle down together eventually, and that neither
of us are ready at this point in our lives! Well, eventually didn't come
fast enough for me and I was starting to get irritated and wanted to
move on. However, CAPTAIN BUTTHOLE always assured me that it was going
to be okay and led me on to believe that he loved me so much. He slept
with my best friend, I left him and still feel it was a great move on my
part. I got a new boyfriend, then, c.b. calls me up (b/c we were still
friends) and he tells me that he doesn't love me, never did, and
apparently never would have. He CLAIMS that he has told me that several
times but I just "couldn't get it through my head!" Please tell me how
"Don't get discouraged, baby, we'll be together soon enough" means "I
don't think we are going to work out." If this is some new guy lingo, I
am moving to Canada, because I'll be damned if I get caught buying a
copy of "CAPTAIN BUTTHOLE LINGO FOR DUMMIES." WARNING ALL WOMEN: HE WILL
SWEET TALK YOU UNTIL YOU CAN'T STOP SMILING AND SHOW YOU MOVES THAT WILL
MAKE YOUR TOES NUMB, BUT HE WILL NOT MARRY YOU and p.s. keep him away
from your girlfriends!! A MISSOURI. |